The Secret to Life by Jason Shipp

Cosmos Interstellar Bar opened just down the street from Lou's place two years ago. Every since the Alien Route plan lifted, flocks of various life forms have been inhabiting earth. My names Jaysins, an earthling who owns the joint. We get a lot of travel thru here, and a lot of stories…

This is one of them. It was nearing 3:30 a.m. Normal bars have to close down between 3:00-5:00, but mine was in the upper Las Vegas side on New York so I'm open 24-7. During these hours a lot of drunks and disorderlys come thru looking for that one last drink of the night. He walked in, more stumbling then a walking. Obviously, he was not in his right mind. I was worried so I picked up my stolen Starfleet phaser. I did this because I couldn't tell his race. He was a humanoid of some kind, at the very least he wasn't a Jedi. Jedi's don't reek of Jensungnee Root. No this was either a party race or a trouble race.

He looked so familiar, so human, so ordinary. Then it hit me like a small hammer. It was Ordinary Boy, the Transylvanian. He had been hiding on Earth under the name Perry Bedden. Unlike normal Transylvanians who were interested in science, he was interested in the arts. New wave Theater, interactive movies, and abstract art that would make any acid head cry. He was dressed in his normal Transylvanian clothing minus his blue hat. His dark glasses hid his glazed over eyes. "Jay, Goddammit. Give me a drink. That No. 87." Luckily Jack Daniels is the same in all Galaxies. I poured a mug full, took a sip and threw my rag at him, as the tradition narrates. "What's wrong, my long lost friend?"

"That woman…" his voice trailed as he sat. "Kimi Wong? Did she bring home another non-human? I don't even know how'd they'd even fit together." My mind wondered as I pictured her being tied down with her long black hair. Her party hat pulled down over her mouth. The tight black pants being ripped… "Not her!!" he shrieked. "She didn't love me!! She Never Loved Me!"

" Hold on…" Transylvanians have extreme emotional trips, "If not her then who?" "Magenta." The name cut the air like a knife. For him it looked as though he'd been picked with a needle directly thru the heart. "What have I done?" he almost whispered as he removed his glasses to relieve his big brown eyes filled with tears. His black bow tie was pulled loose by his right hand where his silver rings reflected his pain. "I'm dead."

"What's going on?" Trannies never fear life, nor do they think of death.

"You know how Frank found the secret to life, its self." The words came slowly out of his mouth as I nodded. "Well he didn't. I did." I took a step back in horror. This is the biggest thing anyone was every said in my bar. "Cloning was okay, but creating life from scratch… It.. it had been done only a few times before. Dr. Frankenstein did it twice, but all he did was reanimate that body. Frank-n-Furter did it correctly. Rocky had a sole. This knowledge, this power is why Riff was ordered to kill him. No one but God should create a sole, then make it that Decadent. Clones and Androids know what they are, Rocky didn't. "Why then, why give the power of God to Frank? What could he possibly have that's worth that?" He smiled and I knew. Magenta. I poured him another mug. "I tried to save her from Domestication. She had another 25 years left. Frank would free her if it worked." The whole situation had gripped me. There this trannie sat with the secret of god, drinking after years spent in hiding.

"Do they know you know?" he nodded, "Fuck." I began drinking now and I sent my phaser for kill out of paranoia. "How?"

"Christ you ask a lot of questions. How?" he laughed, " I got one for ya. Ever wonder how Frank, Rocky, and Columbia could be shot with a beam of pure antimatter and live? You ever ask your self that." There was a long pause as I sat trying to comprehend. "I found a transpondence sent from Riff to the High Queen promising all those involved would be eliminated. I couldn't risk Magenta being harmed, so I switched Riff's gun with my own and set it for knock out. It wasn't until after take off that Columbia came to. He looked at his gun and found my name. Every since then I've been hunted. If I stay anywhere for more then… then two hours at a time… they find me."

The clock on the wall struck 4:45 when the bust open of the hinges. A few creatures went for there guns, but Ordinary Boy sat still. A poor Zrinee inched towards the door, but was greeted by a black heel which flew him across the bar and into the back wall breaking bottles and mirror. Out of the fog stepped Riff Raff in full golden Armour.

"Ordinary Boy!!" a dead silence fell over the bar. "You can come quietly and have a quick but fair trial. Or you can make this fun."

Ordinary Boy sat straight up. Tied his tie. Out of his sleeve his hat popped out. He took the rest of his Jack straight down then stood. He placed his sunglasses on and whispered, "You want to know the secret to life? Tell Magenta I love her." I caught the reflection of my phaser in his glasses, as he pulled it out of my holster and whipped around. He fired two blasts of pure energy.

They zoomed threw the air at light speed but for some reason it was almost in slow motion. I watched as Riff took the first blast have force by blocking it with his arm. The second hit with all its killing power right in the chest. He teetered back on his heels but remained standing. By all rights he should be in several hundred pieces by now. But he just stood there and laughed. Ordinary Boy stood in disbelief. "Energy refocuser."

"My own design." Barley came from his lips, as Riff pointed his triproged laser at him. It glowed with all the energy of the sun as it went off reducing Ordinary Boy to nothing more the a shadow across the bar. Riff smiled and walked back out the door. I sat not moving for what felt like an eternity, when I noticed something written on the napkin under Ordinary Boy's mug. "Love…"

I closed the bar that night and opened again in the morning, Life must go on.