Bill Brennan

"This could be Burt Schnicks Finest hour."
-Vance the cop to Kirk the coffee guy.
   Burt Schnick walks the halls of DTV Studios. The staff all parted the 
halls when he walked by, giving him looks of fear and wonder. They didnt know 
how he did it, but he did it. Burt Schnick was now THE top dog at DTV.

   Burt tapped his way into Farlet Flavors old office, just behind the large 
sign that dominated the studio. He sat at Farleys old desk and put his feet 
up. He placed a few objects on Farleys old desk-a vial of pills, his cane 
(now folded), and a flask. Burt sat back and turned on the many tv monitors 
that lined the far wall.
   He was about to watch many weeks of underhanded planning come to fruition.

   The scene on the tv screen was live, at the outside of DTV. Farlet Flavors 
and Vance Parker were being taken away in handcuffs, heads hung low. 
Following them were Nurse Ansalong and Resthome Ricky. Burt chuckled a bit. 
Farley was the most dangerous but the easiest to handle. All he needed to do 
was send a file listing his crimes and evidence to back it up (minus any part 
he himself may have had in those crimes) to the Feds. In no time Farley was 
arrested, as was Vance Parker for cirruption. Netting Ansalong and Ricky was 
also easy a pie-they had been selling pharmacuticals from the hospital for a 
long time, and both had questionable rap sheets.
   Neely Pritt was on the screen now, flanked by her crew. Burt always liked 
Neely, and saw to it that she got the scoop on Farleys arrest. She would be 
able to parlay this into a network position for sure.
   "And this is Neely pritt signing off, and remember," she was saying " good 
things dont always happen to only other people."
   Cosmo and nation were next. On the BBC he saw the scenes of the 
arrest-Interpol had been at Heathrow airport, waiting for them. They were 
traveling under the names William and Hillary Clinton, of all things. Byrt 
almost felt bad about informing on them. They both of the, Nation especially, 
were the closest thing he had had to a real friend in a long time.
   But they were also as bad as he was, and thus need feel no remorse. They 
had it coming. A few years behind bars might even be good for them, he 
thought. And they WOULD be behind bars, Burt had seen to that. Some slush 
money was spread around and Oliver Wright had been promoted to Head Justice 
of the Court of Denton, with his new wife, Betty, as his assistant. Cosmo and 
nation would join Farley and Vance and the rest after being extradited back 
to the US.
   A live security camera picked up Ralph Hapschatt. Burt had blackballed 
him, and the only job he could find was as the janitor. This humiliation was 
far worse than any other fate he could find for the ego-centric former 
   Kirk was next-Burt could see his new coffee shop-backed by DTV-on another 
live security camera. The "Kirkbucks" was bringing in money by the ton, and 
both Kirk and DTV would reap the profits.
   Harry and Emily Weiss were very happy living in the Dream Kitchen, a 
"consolation prize" they were given after the events concerning her daughter.
   A flick of the dial brought him to VH-1-Oscar Drill and the Bits were 
doing a live concert at Wembley Stadium, a sold out show. 'Breakin' Out" was 
#1 on the charts, and the futures of the young minstrels was assured.
   And last, Brad and Janet. He made a phone call and got the information 
from his agent:yes, the papers had been delivered and signed. Both people 
were suprised but very happy indeed, and would be back in the morning. Yes, 
they should be happy-Bert had signed over ALL of DTV, millions of dollars 
were now Brad and Janets do do with what they wished. He hoped it would make 
up for the misery he had brought them.
   And last, there was him. Burt smiled a sad smiled and had a few pils from 
the vial, then a shot of brandy from the flask, and then a few more 
pills.Then a few more, until the vial was empty. He had some more drink, and 
sat back and closed his eyes. Burt had done what he truly wanted to do-he 
righted the wrongs he had inflicted on the innocent, he made things better, 
he had...redeemed himself. And now that was left to be done was to go to 
sleep and face his final judgement.
   This, indeed, was Burt Schnicks finest hour.