The Rocky Horror Picture Show Finland
                         ======================================
                        This file is based on file "Rockyhor.txt"
                              Modified by Long Ed Douglas October 1995

            [ Props: (in some sort of order)
                     Rice
                     Bouquet (opt)
                     Rings (opt)
                     Newspaper (pref. Plain Dealer)
                     Water (squirt gun, or whatever)
                     Matches (failing which, another source of light)
                     Doughnuts (opt)
                     Rubber Gloves (opt)
                     Noisemaker
                     Confetti (torn newpapers will suffice)
                     Toilet Paper (pref. Scott)
                     Toast
                     Party Hat
                     Bell
                     Sponges (opt)
                     Cards
                     Paper Airplanes

                     Finnland add-ones:
                     Ax
                     Pistol
                     Spatula
                     Blancet (pref. Red)
                     Camera
                     Plastic Cups
                     Ugly Underpants (pref. SA-INT)
                     Paper Plates

              General Information:
                     Audience instructions are in square brackets.  Text in
                     quotes is to be shouted. The instruction 'Echo' indicates
                     that the following line is to be shouted in unison with
                     the film.

                     Whenever Brad appears, or, especially, introduces himself,
                     the line "Asshole!" is appropriate.  With more discretion,
                     the line "Nice" (Nissss)is appropriate to Janet.  Whenever
                     Narrator (Charles Gray) appears, the following lines and
                     variants are appropriate: "He's got no neck!"; "Bo-ring!";
                     "Charles Gray, he's O.K.!".  Dr. Scott may be booed. ]


                        SCIENCE FICTION/DOUBLE FEATURE

      [Before appereance of lips: "A long long time ago, in a galaxy far,far
      away. God said "Let there be lips" And there were! And they were good"]


Usherette:  Michael Rennie was ill
            The Day the Earth Stood Still
            But he told us where we stand. ["On our feet!"]
            And Flash Gordon was there
            In silver underwear,
            Claude Rains was the Invisible Man. ["Who's Claude Rains?"]
            Then something went wrong
            For Fay Wray and King Kong;
            They got caught in a celluloid jam.["Yeah Jam!"]
            Then at a deadly pace
            It Came From... ["where?"] Outer Space.["Thank you"]
            And this is how the message ran:


Chorus:     Science fiction, double feature
            Doctor X will build a creature.
            See androids fighting Brad and Janet
            Anne Francis stars in ["What's your favourite comic shop?"]
            Forbidden Planet
            Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
            At the late night, double feature, picture show.

Usherette:  I knew Leo G. Carrol
            Was (over) ["fucking"] a barrel
            When Tarantula took to the hills. ["Lick it!"]
            And I really got hot
            When I saw (Jeanette Scott) ["Janet's twatt"]
            Fight a triffid that spits poison and kills.  ["Yeah, Kills!"]
            Dana Andrews said Prunes
            Gave him the (runes) ["shits"]
            And passing them used lots of skills.["Yeah skills"]
            But When Worlds Collide,{clap hands} ["boom!"]
            Said George Powell to his bride,
            "I'm gonna give you some (terrible thrills) ["joints and some
            pills"],"
            Like a... ["Like what? Like teeth! Use gleem!"]


Chorus:     Science fiction, double feature
            Doctor X will build a creature.
            See androids fighting ["and fucking, and sucking on]"
            Brad and Janet
            Anne Francis stars in Forbidden Planet
            Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
            At the late night, double feature, picture show.

            I wanna go
            Oh Oh Oh
            To the late night double feature picture show,
            By RKO,
            Oh Oh Oh
            To the late night double feature picture show,["Where's the best
            place to fuck?"]
            In the back row, [front row:["Fuck the back row!"]
                             [back row: "I'd like to see you come and fuck
                             them" (general cheers)]
            Oh Oh Oh
            To the late night, double feature, picture show!


Dentonian:  Here they come! (Dentonians cheer and throw rice) [throw RICE]

Photographer: Let's get a picture.  Close together now.  The folks and
            then the grandparents. Just of the close family.  Ahhh,
            hold that.  Beautiful.  And... (snap) [TAKE A PICTURE!]

Ralph:      I guess we finally did it, huh. ["Hit him! Hit him back!"]

Brad:       I don't think there's any doubt about that. You and Betty have
            been almost inseparable since you met in Dr. Scott's refresher
            class.

Ralph:      Well to tell you the truth, Brad, that's the only reason I
            showed up in the first place. (chuckles)

Betty:      O.K. you guys, this is it. (everyone screams)

Ralph:      Well Betty's going to throw the bouquet.  [throw BOUQUET]

Janet:      ["Hey Janet, do you have syph?"] I got it!  I got it!

Ralph:      Hey big fella["how do you know"], looks like it could be
            your turn next, eh?

Brad:       Who knows.

Ralph:      Well, so long, see you Brad ["see you, sucker"]. Guess we better
            get get going now Bett. Come on, hop in.  (they drive away)
            ["Think about it, asshole...Wait till tonight, she got hers, now
            he'll get his"]

Janet:      Oh Brad, wasn't it wonderful?["NO!"]  Wasn't Betty radiantly
            beautiful? [NO!"]
            I can't believe it. An hour ago she was just plain old Betty
            Monroe and now...
            ["she's a slut!"] now she's Mrs. Ralph Hapshatt."Hapshit!"

Brad:       Yes Janet, Ralph is a lucky guy.["No his not. She's got syph"]

Janet:      Yes.

Dentonian:  I always cry at weddings.  ["So do I honey"]

Brad:       Everyone knows that Betty is a wonderful little cook.["She's the
            hottest baked potato in Denton. Yeah. Denton, the home of
            happiness"]

Janet:      Yes.

Brad:       Why Ralph himself, he'll be up for a promotion in a year or two.
            ["If he doesn't get busted first!"]

Janet:      Yes.

Brad:       Hey Janet.["Sit on my face and wiggle" / "Sit on my face and tell
            me that you love me"]

Janet:      Yes Brad?


Brad:       I've got something to say.

Janet:      Uh huh.

            ["Say it, Brad!"]

Brad:       I really love the... ["Starts with an S...sku sku sku"] skillful
            way["What a fucking genious"]... you beat the other girls...
            ["With whips and chains?"] to the bridal bouquet.["And that too"]

Janet:      Oh Brad.

            [audience echoes 'Janet's, 'Oh Brad's, and 'Dammit, Janet's]

Brad:       The river was deep but I swam it. (Janet)
            The future is ours so let's plan it. (Janet)
            So please, don't tell me to can it. (Janet)
            I've one thing to say and that's Dammit, Janet (I love you).
            ["Let's get screw"]

            The road was long but I ran it. (Janet)
            There's a fire in my heart and you fan it. (Janet)
            If there's one fool for you then I am it. (Janet)
            I've one thing to say and that's Dammit, Janet (I love you).
            ["Let's get screw"]

            Here's a ring to prove that I'm no joker.["That doesn't prove
            anything"]
            There's three ways that love can grow.["Sex,drugs and
            rock'n'roll"]
            That's (good)["gay"], (bad)["straight"], or mediocre.
            Oh, J-A-N-E-T I (love you so) .["Want a blow"]

Janet:      Oh, it's nicer than Betty Monroe had. (Oh Brad)
            Now we're engaged and I'm so glad (Oh Brad)
            That you (met Mom and you know Dad).["fucked mom and you blow
            dad"] (Oh Brad)
            I have one thing to say and that's Brad, (I'm mad)["you're a fag"]
            for you too.

            Oh Brad...

Brad:       Oh... (dammit).["Shit"]

Janet:      I'm mad...

Brad:       Oh, (Janet).["Shit"]

Janet:      For you.

Brad:       (I love you too.) ["I wanna screw"]

Brad & Janet: There's one thing left to do(- ah - oo).["Go screw"]

Brad:       And that's go see the man who began it. (Janet)["No, the man!"]
            When we met in his science exam - it (Janet)
            Made me (give you the eye)["Piss in my pants"] and then panic.
            (Janet)
            Now I've one thing to say and that's Dammit, Janet, I love you.
            Dammit, Janet.

Janet:      Oh Brad, I'm mad.


Brad:       Dammit, Janet.

Brad & Janet: (I love you.) ["Let's get screeeeeeeew"]

Narrator:   I would like,["You would, would you?"] ah, if I may, ["You may!"]
            ...to take you["Where?"] on a strange journey.
            ["How srange was it? It was so strange they made a movie
            about it! Not a book! A movie!"]
            It seemed a fairly ordinary night when Brad Majors ["Asshole"]
            and his fiancee Janet Weiss, two young, normal, healthy kids, left
            Denton that late November evening, to visit a Dr. Everett (Scott),
            ["Snot" boos & hisses] ex-tutor, now friend to both of them.
            ["Is it true, that you are constipated?"] It's true there were
            dark storm clouds,[ "Describe your balls!"]
            heavy, black, and pendulous, towards which they were driving.
            ["Is it also true, that you are a gay?"]
            It's true, also, that the spare tire they were carrying was badly
            in need of some air,["So is your fucking neck"] but, uh, they
            being normal kids ["normal?"] , on a night out ["yt"]
            ... well, they weren't going to let a storm spoil the rest
            their evening, were they?  ...On a night out...
            ["Come a little bit closer, Chuckie"] it was a night out they were
            going to remember... ["How long?"] for a very long time.["What a
            fucking trip"]

            Scene opens ["Hey Dick, have you ever been a quitter?"]

Nixon:      I have never been a quitter ["Bullshit"]

Nixon:      To every instinct in my body ["You call that a body?"]

Nixon:      But as president ["You call that a president?"]

Nixon:      The intrest of America first ["What does America need, Dick?"]

Nixon:      Needs a full-time president... ["What else?"]

Janet:      Gosh, that's the third motorcycle that's passed us.  They sure do
            take their lives in their hands, what with the weather and all.

            ["Say something stupid, Brad(Asshole)!"]
Brad:       Yes, life's pretty cheap to that type. ["Yeah, thet type, our
            type"]

Janet:      Oh. ...What's the matter, Brad darling?["Make a sound like a
            cow"]

Brad:       We must have taken the wrong fork a few miles back. ["Asshole"]

Janet:      Oh, but where did that motorcyclist come from? [Sing the theme of
            Twilight Zone]

Brad:       Hmmm... well I guess we'll just have to turn back.
                    ["Look out!"]  (BOOM) [Clap hands]

Janet:      Oh! What was that bang? ["A gangbang"]

Brad:       We must have a blowout.  DAMMIT! ["Janet!"] I knew I should have
            gotten that spare tire fixed. ["Asshole!"] Well, you just stay here
            keep warm and I'll go for help.

Janet:      But where will you go in the middle of nowhere?

Brad:       ["Try the castle!"] ...Didn't we pass a castle back down the road
            a few miles?  Maybe they have a telephone we could use.
            ["Castles don't have telephones, asshole!"]

Janet:      I'm going with you.

Brad:       Oh, no, darling, there's no sense in both of us getting wet.["She
            is allready wet"]

Janet:      I'm coming with you!  Besides darling, the owner of that phone
            might be a beautiful woman, ["He is!"] and you might never come
            back.["You should be so lucky, lucky lucky lucky"]

Brad:       Heh, heh, heh, heh.

            [they get out of the car "Kick it!".  NEWSPAPERS over heads squirt
             the virgins sitting in front of you]


                        OVER AT THE FRANKENSTEIN PLACE

            ["Buy an umbrella cheap bitch!" "Sing bitch"]

Janet:      In the velvet darkness,
            Of the blackest night,
            Burning bright,["What's up your ass?"] there's a guiding star.
            ["That must hurt"] No matter what or who you are.

Brad & Janet: There's a light... [light MATCHES on 'light']

Chorus:     Over at the Frankenstein place.

Brad & Janet: There's a light...

Chorus:     Burning in the fireplace...

            [MATCHES out on 'darkness' - "Darkness!" if any lights still on]

Brad & Janet: There's a light, light in the darkness of everybody's life.

            ["Sing to us O Hairless One!"]

Riff Raff:  The darkness must go down the river of night's dreaming.
            Flow morphia slow, let the sun and light come streaming
            Into my life.  Into my life...

Brad & Janet: There's a light...  [MATCHES again]

Chorus:     Over at the Frankenstein place.

Brad & Janet: There's a light...

Chorus:     Burning in the fireplace.
            There's a light, a light

Brad & Janet: [off at 'Darkness'] ...in the darkness of everybody's life.

            (in the stage version right after the first chorus Brad has this
             extra verse:

Brad:       I can see the flag fly
            I can see the rain
            Just the same, there has got to be
            Something better here for you and me.

            (repeat chorus))

            [At end of song: "And Betsy Ross used to sit home and sew and sew
            and sew..."]

Narrator:   And so, it seemed that fortune had smiled on Brad and Janet and
            that they had found the assistance that their plight required.
            ["Are you sure?"] ...Or had they? ["Njah-njah-njaa"]

Janet:      Brad, let's go back, I'm cold and frightened...

Brad:       Just a moment Janet, they might have a phone.
            (doorbell rings["Ding-dong, asshole calling", door creaks open)

            ["Say hello, Riff"]

Riff Raff:  Hello.

            ["Say Hi,Brad"]

Brad:       Hi! My name is Brad Majors, and this is my fiancee, Janet Weiss.
            I wonder if you could help us.  You see, our car broke down
            a few miles up the road... do you have a phone we might use?

            ["Look between Janet's legs"]

Riff Raff:  You're wet. ["No shit, hey Janet are you a slut?!"]

Janet:      Yes - it's raining. ["Are you an asshole, Brad?"]

Brad:       Yes.["Are you on drugs Riff?"]

Riff Raff:  Yes... I think perhaps you better both ["Get lost"] come inside.
            ["I don't care where you come as long as you clean it up!"]

Janet:      You're too kind. ["No, he's Riff"]
            Oh Brad, I'm frightened.  What kind of a place is this?

Brad:       Oh, it's probably some kind of hunting lodge for rich weirdos.
            ["Yeah, rich weirdos, that's us!"]

Janet:      Oh. (forlornly)

Riff Raff:  ["Hey Riff! Which way?"] This way. ["Follow the Bouncing Thumb"]

Janet:      Are you having a party? ["No it's my sister's Bas Mitzvah"]

Riff Raff:  You've arrived on a very special night.  It's one of the
            master's affairs.  ["Which one?"]

Janet:      Oh lucky him.

[echo next line ("You're lucky... ha ha ha ha ha")]

Magenta:    You're lucky, he's lucky, I'm lucky, we're all lucky! ha ha ha...
            ["The banister's lucky!"]

            (- seven dongs -)   ["Hey Riff, show us your mother"]


                                 THE TIME WARP

Riff Raff:  It's astounding;
            Time is fleeting;
            Madness takes its toll.
            But listen closely...

Magenta:    Not for very much longer.

Riff Raff:  I've got to (keep control) ["Smoke a bowl"].
            I remember doing the time-warp ["One, too"]
            Drinking those moments when
            The darkness would hit me

Riff & Magenta: And a void would be calling...

Transylvanians: Let's do the time-warp again.
                Let's do the time-warp again.


                      [Here are the instructions: DO IT!]
                      ["How is it done??"]

Narrator:   It's just a jump to the left.

All:        And then a step to the right.

Narrator:   With your hands on your hips.

All:        You bring your knees in tight.
            But it's the pelvic thrust
            That really drives you insane.

            Let's do the time-warp again.
            Let's do the time-warp again.


Magenta:    It's so dreamy, oh fantasy free me.
            So you can't see me, no, not at all.
            In another dimension, with voyeuristic intention,
            Well secluded, I see all.

Riff Raff:  With a bit of a mind flip

Magenta:    You're into the time slip.["Work that bird"]

Riff Raff:  And nothing can ever be the same.

Magenta:    You're spaced out on sensation.

Riff Raff:  Like you're under sedation.

All:        Let's do the time-warp again.
            Let's do the time-warp again.

Columbia:   Well I was walking down the street just having a think
            When this snake of a guy gave me an evil wink.
            He shook me up, he took me by surprise
            He had a pickup truck, and the devil's eyes.
            He stared at me and I felt a change.
            Time meant nothing, never would again.

All:        Let's do the time-warp again.
            Let's do the time-warp again.


Narrator:   It's just a jump to the left.

All:        And then a step to the right.

Narrator:   With your hands on your hips.

All:        You bring your knees in tight.
            But it's the pelvic thrust
            That really drives you insane.

            Let's do the time-warp again.
            Let's do the time-warp again.

                    [Columbia's tap dance: "2,4,6,8,10,12,14 Eat your heart
                    Ann Miller"]


All:        Let's do the time-warp again.
            Let's do the time-warp again.

Narrator:   It's just a jump to the left.

All:        And then a step to the right.

Narrator:   With your hands on your hips.

All:        You bring your knees in tight.
            But it's the pelvic thrust
            that really drives you insane.

            Let's do the time-warp again.
            Let's do the time-warp again.


Janet:      Brad, say something.  (whispered) ["Say something stupid"]

Brad:       Say, do any of you guys know how to Madison? ["I do the rock
            myself, I do the swim"]

Janet:      Brad, please, let's get out of here.

Brad:       For God's sake keep a grip on yourself Janet.

     (music cue softly at first, crescendo up) [tap/clap in time to Frank]

Janet:      But it... it seems so unhealthy here.

Brad:       It's just a party, Janet.

Janet:      Well - I want to go.

Brad:       Well we can't go anywhere until I get to a phone.

Janet:      Well then ask the butler or someone.["Butler is comiiing!"]

Brad:       Just a moment, Janet


- we don't want to interfere with their
            celebration.

Janet:      This isn't the Junior Chamber of Commerce, Brad.

Brad:       They're probably foreigners with ways different than our own.
            They may do some more folk dancing.["Strip tease"]

Janet:      Look, I'm cold, I'm wet, and I'm just plain scared.

Brad:       I'm here - there's nothing to worry about.


                              SWEET TRANSVESTITE

Frank:      How do you do, I
            See you've met my
            Faithful handyman. ["Faithful???"]

               -- The Rocky Horror Picture Show -- Page Nine --

            He's just a little brought down
            Because when you knocked
            He thought you were the candyman.

            Don't get strung out by the way I look.
            Don't judge a book by its cover.
            I'm not much of a man by the light of day
            But by night I'm one hell of a lover.  [screams & aplause]

            I'm just a sweet transvestite
            From Transexual, Transylvania. [Sing instead of "Transylvania"
                                           "Skitsofrenia"]

            Let me show you around
            Maybe play you a sound.
            You look like you're both pretty groovy.
            Or if you want something visual
            That's not too abysmal,
            We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie.["It would be better
            than this"]

Brad:       I'm glad we caught you at home,
            Could we use your phone?
            We're both in a bit of a hurry.["Left"]

Janet:      [echo 'Right'] Right. ["Left"]

Brad:       We'll just say where we are,
            Then go back to the car.
            We don't want to be any worry.

Frank:      Well you got caught with a flat, well, [echo] how 'bout that?
            Well, babies, don't you panic.
            By the light of the night it'll all seem alright.
            I'll get you a satanic mechanic.

            I'm just a sweet transvestite
            From Transexual, Transylvania.

            Why don't you stay for the night?

Riff Raff:  [echo] Night.

Frank:      Or maybe a bite?

Columbia:   [echo] Bite.

Frank:      I could show you my favourite obsession. ["Sex!"]
            I've been making a man ["You call that a man?"]
            With blond hair and a tan ["You call that a tan?"]
            And he's good for relieving my... ["sexual"] ...tension

            I'm just a sweet transvestite
            From Transexual, Transylvania.

            I'm just a sweet transvestite

Frank, Columbia, Riff Raff, Magenta: Sweet transvestite

                -- The Rocky Horror Picture Show -- Page Ten --

Frank:      From Transexual,

Columbia, Riff Raff, Magenta: Transylvania.

Frank:      So ["What?"] - come up to the lab,
            And (see what's on the slab).["Fuck me on the slab"]
            I see you shiver with antici - (3 seconds) ["SAY IT!"] - pation.
            But maybe the rain
            Isn't really to blame.
            So I'll remove (the cause)["Your balls"].
            (chuckles) ["But what about those nasty symptoms?"]
            But not the symptom.

            (applause) (Brad and Janet are given towels and both say thank you)
            [Before Brad says Thank you: "What do you say when Frank fucks you"
            Before Janet says Thank you very much:"What do you say when Riff
            Raff fucks you?"]

            (Columbia and Riff Raff start to undress Brad and Janet)

Janet:      Oh!  Brad!

Brad:       It's all right Janet.  We'll play along for now and pull
            out the aces when the time is right.

Columbia:   Slowly, slowly!  It's too nice a job to rush.["Yeah rush"]

Brad:       Hi, my name is Brad Majors ["Asshole"] , and this is my fiancee,
            Janet Weiss;["How do you spell urinate?"] you are...

Columbia:   You're very lucky to be invited up to Frank's laboratory.
            Some people would give their right arm for the privilege.
            ["Or their right tit"]

Brad:       People like you maybe.

Columbia:   Ha! I've seen it.

            (Riff Raff pours wine into a glass, takes a swig from the bottle)

Riff Raff:  Come along - the master doesn't like to be kept waiting.["What do
            you do with unconfortable cocks?"]

Columbia:   Shift it. ["Drop it! Thank you"]

            (Janet screeches - the elevator goes up)

Janet:      Is he your husband?

Riff Raff:  The master is not yet married, nor do I expect he ever shall be.
            We are simply his (servants)["Slaves" pause "Third floor female
            underclothing....Fourth floor FAGS!"].

Janet:      Oh.

            ["Virgins first ... Assholes second... Servants, Groupies, and
             Weirdos third, fourth, and fifth" schtick]

Frank:      ["What's your favorite color?"] Magenta, ["Where do you get your
            pot?"] Columbia, go assist (Riff Raff)["UfUf"].  I will entertain ...uh huh
            huh... (chuckles)


Brad:       Brad Majors.  And this is my fiancee, Janet "Vice". ["Weisssss"]

Janet:      Weiss.

Brad:       Weiss?  um.

Frank:      ["Do you speak French"] Enchante.

            (Janet giggles)

Frank:      Well!  How nice.  And what charming underclothes you both have.
            ["What about mine?" pull out ugly underpants, pref. SA-INT)
            But here.  Put these (smocks) on ["and take those off"]
            They'll make you feel less ["Naked"]
            vulnerable.  It's not often we receive visitors here, let
            alone offer them... (hospitality) ["Horse brutality"].

Brad:       Hospitality!?  All we asked was to use your telephone,
            Goddammit, a reasonable request which you've chosen to ignore.

Janet:      Brad, don't be ungrateful.

Brad:       Ungrateful! [when Brad removes his glasses, "Superman! Tt t d
            d!"]

Frank:      How forceful you are, Brad.  Such a perfect specimen of manhood.
            So ["big"]... dominant (crowd has flurry of laughs).
            You must be awfully proud of him, Janet.

Janet:      ["Hey Janet are you a slut"] Well, yes I am. (giggles)

Frank:      Do you have any (tattoos) ["Balls"], Brad? ["What about brains?"]

Brad:       Certainly not!

Frank:      Oh well, how about you. (to Janet)

Janet:      No. (giggling)

Riff Raff:  Everything is in readiness, master.  We merely await your
            (pause) (word) ["cock"].

            ["Hey Frank, when is the orgy?"]

Frank:      Tonight, my unconventional conventionalists... you are about to
            witness a new breakthrough in biochemical research... and paradise
            will be mine... It was strange the way it happened... suddenly you
            get a break... whole pieces start to fit into (place) ["ass"],
            not a sign of  being.. ["What do you think of Paavo Vyrynen?"]
            what a fool!  The answer was there all the time, it took a
            small accident to make it happen... ["A what?"] AN ACCIDENT

Magenta & Columbia: An accident!

Frank:      And that's how I discovered the secret, that elusive ingredient,
            that ["Who's your favourite character in Star Treck?"]
            SPARK that is the breath of life... ["Do you know about gay
            sex"]  Yes, I have that knowledge...["What do you hold under your
            arm?"] I know the secret... ["To life?"] to life... ["Itself?"]
            itself!
                             (applause) [Applause "What are we?"]
            You are fortunate for tonight is the night that my beautiful
            creature is destined to be (BORN) ["Fucked"]!
            (Magenta and Columbia take hold of the cloth)


            Up now! ...throw open the switches on the sonic (oscillator)
            ["Masturbator"]... and step the reactor power [echo] THREE
            MORE (POINTS)["Joints"]!

            (colorful fluids, etc. in order Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue,
            Indigo, Violet)

            (Rocky emits some gutteral garbage)

Frank:      Oh!  [echo] Rocky!

                             THE SWORD OF DAMOCLES

Rocky:      The sword of Damocles is hanging over my head ["Look closer"],
            And I've got the feeling someone's gonna be cutting the thread.
            Oh, woe is me, my life is a misery.
            Oh, can't you see, that I'm at the start of a pretty big downer.

            I woke up this morning (with a start when I fell out of bed) ["I
            got myself a beer"].

All:        That ain't no crime.

Rocky:      And left from my dreaming was a feeling of unnameable dread.

All:        That ain't no crime.

Rocky:      My high is low, I'm dressed up with no place to go.
            And all I know is I'm at the start of a pretty big downer.

All:        Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime.

Rocky:      Oh ho no no

All:        Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime.

Rocky:      Oh ho no no

All:        Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime.

Rocky:      Oh ho no no

Rocky:      The sword of Damocles is hanging over my head.

All:        That ain't no crime.

Frank:      Well really.

Rocky:      And I've got the feeling someone's going to be cutting the thread.

All:        Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime.

Rocky:      Oh no no no.

All:        Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime.

Rocky:      Oh no no no.

             -- The Rocky Horror Picture Show -- Page Thirteen --

All:        Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime.

Rocky:      Oh no no no.
               (repeat until end --- Sha-la-la)

All:        Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime, Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime,
            Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime, Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime,
            sha-la-la.

Frank:      Well really.  That's no way to behave on your first day out.

Rocky:      Ugh  Ugh  (forlornly like a puppy dog)

            ["forgive him!"]
Frank:      But since you're such an exceptional beauty, I am prepared to
            forgive you.

Rocky:      Ugh  Ugh  (applause) (Rocky [and audience] claps like a child)

Frank:      Oh, I just love success.

Riff Raff:  He's a credit to your genius, master.

Frank:      Yes.

Magenta:    A triumph of your will.

Frank:      Yes.

Columbia:   He's O.K.


Frank:      o.k. (smack) ["Hey Frank, how do you kill roaches!"]
            O.K.!  I think we can do better than that.  Humph!
            ["Why don't you ask Brad and Janet!"] Well, Brad and Janet, what
            do you think of him

            ["Lie, Janet!"]
Janet:      Well, I don't like a man with too many muscles. ["Just one big
            one!"]

Frank:      I didn't make him... FOR YOU!["She'll get him anyway"].
            He carries the Charles Atlas seal of approval  ["A what"].


                         I CAN MAKE YOU A MAN (part I)

Frank:      A weakling ["Brad"] weighing ninety-eight pounds ["That's Brad"]
            Will get sand in his face
            When kicked to the (ground)["balls"];
            And soon in the gym with a determined chin,
            The sweat from his pores as he works for his cause
            Will make him glisten ..["What's your favourite toothpaste?"]
            and gleam.
            And with massage, and just a little bit of (steam), ["vaselin"]
            He'll be pink and quite clean
            He'll be a strong man.  Oh honey...

All:        But the wrong man

Frank:      He'll eat nutritious high protein.  And swallow raw eggs...
            Try to build up his shoulders, his chest, arms, and... legs.
            Such an effort if he only knew of my plan.
            In just seven days...
            ["That's a week"]

Frank & Transylvanians: I can make you a (man)["fag"].

Frank:      He'll do press-ups, and chin-ups, do the snatch, clean and jerk
            ["off"].
            He thinks dynamic tension must be hard work.
            Such strenuous living I just can't understand,
            When in just seven days, oh baby,...I can make you a (man)["fag"].

            ["Watch out for the dinner!"]

Columbia:   EDDY!["Sweddie"]

                         HOT PATOOTIE (BLESS MY SOUL)


Eddy:       Whatever happened to Saturday night ("We went to the Rocky Horror
            picture show"],
            When you dressed up sharp and you felt alright?
            It don't seem the same since cosmic light
            Came into my life, I thought I was divine.
            I used to go for a ride with a chick who'd go,
            And listen to the music on the radio;
            A saxophone was playing in a rock 'n roll show.
            You climbed in the back seat, you really had a good time.

            Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock 'n roll.
            Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock 'n roll.
            Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock 'n roll.
            Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock 'n roll.

            My head used to swim from the perfume I smelled.
            My hands kind of fumbled with her white plastic belt.
            I'd taste her baby pink lipstick and that's when I'd melt
            And she'd whisper in my ear tonight she really was mine.
            Get back in front, put some hair oil on
            Buddy Holly was singing his very last song.
            With your arms around your girl you'd try to sing along.
            It felt pretty good. Woo You really had a good time.

            Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock 'n roll.
            Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock 'n roll.
            Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock 'n roll.
            Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock 'n roll.
             (... for a total of twelve times)

            (Frank attacks Eddy with an alpinist's pick)

Frank:      One from the vaults.["A greaser from the freezer, a bat out of
            hell"] (chuckles)

Rocky:      Ugh...


Frank:      Oh baby ["I'm upset"]... Don't be upset.. It was a mercy killing..
            ["Mercy, mercy, mrcy"] mer he had a certain naive charm, but no
            muscle ["Show us, Rocky"] (Rocky flexes a bicep) ...Oh!

                        I CAN MAKE YOU A MAN (part II)

Frank:      But a deltoid and a bicep.
            A hot groin and a tricep.
            Makes me, (oooh, shake,)["Dance with a midget"]
            Makes me want to take Charles Atlas by the...(ha-ha-hand)["balls"].

Frank & Transylvanians: In just seven days I can make you a (man)["fag"].

Frank:      I don't want no dissention, just dynamic tension.

            ["Sing bitch!"]

Janet:      I'm a muscle fan.

Frank:      In just seven days, I can make you a (man)["fag"].
            Dig it if you can
            In just seven days, I can make you a (man)["fag"].

            (Frank and Rocky's WEDDING MARCH)

Transylvanians: Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah!  Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah!
            Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah! Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah! [throw
            Confetti]

            ["I say that life is an illusion"]
Narrator:   There are those that say that life is an illusion["Like your
            neck"], and that reality is but a figment of the imagination
            ["Like your neck"].  If this is so, then Brad and Janet are quite
            safe["Unlike your neck"],.. however, the sudden departure of their
            host...and his creation...into the seclusion of his somber bridal
            (suite) ["Sweeeet"] had left them feeling both ["Neckless!"]
            apprehensive and a feeling which (grew)["Greeeew! Unlike your
            neck"] as the other guests departed, and they wereshown to their
            separate rooms.

            (Janet and Brad are shown to their rooms by Riff Raff and Magenta.)
            ["Red room for sluts... watch out for the bowl ...Same room,
            different colour, cheap movie!"]

            (knock)

Janet:      Uhh! Who is it? Who's there?["Urpo Leppnen"]

Frank (Brad): It's only me, Janet.

Janet:      Oh, Brad darling, come in ["and out and in and out and in and out
            again"].
            Oh! Brad Oh Brad.  Yes, my darling...but what if...

Frank (Brad): It's all right, Janet, everything's going to be alright.

Janet:      Oh, I hope so, my darling.  Oh...Ah...ahh OHHH! Oh it's you!

Frank:      I'm afraid so, Janet, but isn't it nice...

Janet:      Oh, you beast, you monster...Oh what have you done with Brad?
            ["Nothing yet"]

Frank:      Oh, well, nothing.  Why, do you think I should?

Janet:      You tricked...I wouldn't have...I've never..never... ["never,
            never"]

Frank:      Yes, yes I know, but it isn't all bad, is it?["It isn't all Brad
            either"]  I think you really
            found it quite pleasurable.

Janet:      Oh, stop...I mean help...Brad Brad!..Oh Brad!!

Frank:      Shhh. Brad's probably asleep by now. Do you want him to see you
            like...This!

Janet:      Like this..like how??! Oh, it's your fault...you're to blame...
            Oh...I was saving myself...["For whwt? For rainy days! It's
            raining!"]

Frank:      Yes, but I'm sure you're not SPENT yet...

Janet:      Promise you won't tell Brad?

Frank:      Cross my heart and hope to die...["Stick a Dildoe in my eye"]

            (assorted sexual noises)

            (Riff Raff scares Rocky with a candelabra, Rocky runs away.)

Frank (Janet): Oh, Brad darling, it's no good here.  He'll destroy us.

Brad:       Don't worry Janet, we'll be away from here in the morning.

Frank (Janet): Oh, Brad you're so strong and protective.
            ["Hei Brad, oot s homo, juu vai ei?"]

Brad:       Ah, ah, ah, oh YOU!

Frank:      I'm afraid so, Brad, but isn't it nice...

Brad:       Why YOU!  What have you done with Janet? ["Fucked the shit out of
            her"]

Frank:      Nothing.  Why?  Do you think I should?

Brad:       You tricked me, I wouldn't have...never...never...never..["Never,
            never"]

Frank:      Oh Yes yes, I know...but it isn't all bad, is it?  Not even half
            bad, I think you really quite enjoyed it.

            (Brad starts moaning)

Frank:      Oh... so soft...

Brad:       Stop it...stop it...oh Janet...JANET!

Frank:      Shhh! Janet's probably asleep by now, do you want her to see you...
            like...this.

Brad:       Like this, like how? It's your fault, you're to blame, I thought
            it was the real thing! ["It is! It's only bigger"]

Frank:      Oh come on, Brad, admit it, you liked it, didn't you?  It isn't a
            crime to give yourself over to pleasure, Brad.
            We've wasted so much time already...Janet needn't know, I
            won't tell.

Brad:       Well, promise you won't tell...

Frank:      On my mother's gra.oouuuuuu...["Don't talk with your mouth full!"]

            (BEEPBEEPBEEP...)

Riff Raff:  Master["bator"], Rocky has broken his chains and vanished. Your
            new (playmate)["Playboy"] is loose and somewhere on the grounds..
            Magenta has just released the (dogs)["frogs"]...

Frank:      mmmm? coming! ["So is Brad!"]

Janet:      Oh, Brad["Oh Janet"]. Brad, my darling ["Janet my fish"], how
            could I have done this to you?["It was easy. But it would have
            been easier witout the pantyhose!"]   Oh!  If only we
            hadn't made this journey...["But you did!"] if only the car hadn't
            broken down... ["but it did!"] if only we were amongst friends...
            ["But you're not!"] Or sane persons ["Two out of three ain't
            bad"], Oh Brad Oh Brad, what have they done with him... ["Take
            a look at the monitor"]  (she sees him on TV with Frank)
            Oh, Brad,["I thought you were a non-smoker"] Oh Brad-How could
            you?

            (Rocky emits moans and general cries of pain)["Leave him alone,
            his monsterbating"]

Janet:      Oh, but you are hurt["No Shit"]...Did they do this to you?["They
            sure did, those snivelling frogs"]  I'll dress your wounds...
            ["And undress mine"] baby there ["It's not baby, Janet... 1,2,3,
            Hey Janet, wanna fuck? Smile if you want!"]...let me make it all
            better.

Narrator:   Emotion, agitation or disturbance of the mind...Vehement or excited
            mental state ["And you can only read about it, shitlips"].  It is
            also a powerful and irrational (master)["Mouthwash"]...and
            from what Magenta and Columbia eagerly viewed on their television
            monitor there seemed little doubt that Janet was, indeed,["A
            nymphomaniac"] ... its slave.

Magenta and Columbia: [echo] Tell us about it, Janet.


                       TOUCH-A TOUCH-A TOUCH-A TOUCH ME

Janet:      I was feeling done in ["And pushed up"], couldn't win["Like the
            Swedish hockey-team"]
            I'd only ever kissed before ["Like the Swedish hockey-team"].

Columbia:   You mean she...

Magenta:    Uh huh ["Virgin!"]

Janet:      I thought there's no use getting ["laid"]
            Into heavy petting ["With the Swedish hockey-team"]
            It only leads to trouble
            And seat wetting "Yeah, wet seats"]


            Now all I want to know is how to go.
            I've tasted blood and I want more.

Magenta and Columbia: [echo] More, more, more

Janet:      I'll put up no resistance
            I want to go the distance
            I've got an itch to scratch
            I need assistance.

            [on 'toucha toucha' etc., run and attempt to touch Janet (on the
            screen)]

            Toucha toucha toucha touch me
            I want to be dirty
            Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me
            Creature of the night.

            Then if anything grows ["Suck it"], while you pose ["Suck harder"]
            I'll oil you up and rub you down.

Magenta and Columbia: [echo] Down, down, down.

Janet:      And that's just one small fraction of the main attraction
            You need a friendly hand and I need action.

Columbia:   Toucha toucha toucha touch me
Magenta:    I want to be dirty.
Columbia:   Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me,
Magenta:    Creature of the night.

Janet:      Toucha toucha toucha touch me I want to be dirty
            Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me, creature of the night.

Rocky:      Creature of the night ["Uh"]
Brad:       (Creature)["Asshole"] of the night?
Frank:      Creature of the night.
Magenta:    Creature of the night.
Riff Raff:  Creature of the night.
Columbia:   Creature of the night.
Rocky:      Creature of the night ["Uh"].
Janet:      Creature of the night.

Riff Raff:  Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!  ["Hit him! Hit him harder! Beg mercy"]
            Merrrrrcy! (being whipped by Frank)

Frank:      How did it happen?  I understood you were to be watching...

Riff Raff:  I was only away for a minute ["Doing what?"]..master["bating"]

Frank:      Well, see if you can find him on the monitor.

Riff Raff:  Master["bator"], master["bator"]...we have a visitor.

            ["What does captain Kirk say to his Chief Engineer?"]
Brad:       Hey, Scotty! ["Beam me up!"] ...Dr. Everett Scott.

Riff Raff:  You know this earthling ["Whoops!"] ...this person?

Brad:       Why yes.  He happens to be an old friend of mine ["So he must be
            an asshole too"].

Frank:      I see.  So this wasn't simply a chance meeting.  You came here
            with a purpose.

Brad:       I told you, my car broke down.  I was telling the truth.

Frank:      I know what you told me...but this Dr. Everett Scott, his name is
            not unknown to me.

Brad:       He was a science teacher at Denton High School.

Frank:      And now he works for your government, doesn't he, Brad?  He's
            attached to the bureau of investigation of that which you call
            UFO's [throw paper plates].  Isn't that right, Brad?

Brad:       He might be...I don't know.

Riff Raff:  The intruder is entering the building, master.

            ["Where'll he be?"]
Frank:      He'll probably be...entering the Zen room. ["The Zen Room! Shit! I
            left a joint in there!"] Shall we inquire of him in person?
            ["Not the triple-contact electro-magnet!"]

            (pause)

Brad:       Great Scott! [throw TOILET PAPER]

Dr. Scott:  Frankenfurter, we meet at last.["No, we meet at first"]

Brad:       Dr. Scott!

Dr. Scott:  Brad! What are you doing here?

Frank:      Don't play games, Dr. Scott.  You know perfectly well what Brad
            Majors is doing here.  It was part of your plan, was it not?  That
            he and his female should check the layout for you.  Well,
            unfortunately for you, all your plans are to be changed.  You must
            be adaptable, Dr. Scott; I know Brad is.

Dr. Scott:  I can assure you that Brad's presence here comes as a complete
            surprise to me.  I came here to find Eddy.

Brad:       Eddy!  I've seen him!

Frank:      Eddy!  What do you know of Eddy, Dr. Scott?

            ["Get conceited!"]
Dr. Scott:  I happen to know a great deal about a lot of things.  You see
            Eddy happens to be my nephew.

               (Frank gasps)

Brad:       Dr. Scott.


Janet:      Ah! ["You blew it, bitch!...Mousekeeter! Role call, sound off"]

            [echo three rounds of 'Janet... etc.' add "Uh" for Rocky]

Dr. Scott:  Janet!

Janet:      Dr. Scott!

Brad:       Janet!

Janet:      Brad!

Frank:      Rocky!

               (Rocky says nothing, not even a grunt)

Dr. Scott:  Janet!

Janet:      Dr. Scott!

Brad:       Janet!

Janet:      Brad!

Frank:      Rocky!

               (Rocky says nothing, not even a grunt)

Dr. Scott:  Janet!

Janet:      Dr. Scott!

Brad:       Janet!

Janet:      Brad!

Frank:      Rocky!

               (Rocky says nothing, not even a grunt)

Frank:      Listen...I made you...and I can break you just as easily.
                (to Rocky)

Magenta:    (GONG) Master, dinner is prepared! ["and WE helped! What do you
            think of oral sex?"]

Frank:      Excellent. Under the circumstances, formal dress is to be optional.
            ["Toga, toga, toga" jump onto the stage and use BLANCET as toga]

Narrator:   Food has always played a vital role in Life's rituals. The
            breaking of the (bread)["neck"], the last meal of the condemned
            man, and in this meal.  However informal it might appear, you can
            be sure that there was to be little, bonhommie ["Bonho-who?
            Bonho-you"].

            (Dinner is served, the clatter of dishes is heard, the electric
            slicer used to slice up the meat (by Frank)) ["Meat Loaf again!?"]

Frank:      A toast [throw TOAST] ...to absent friends...["To absent toasts"]


All:        [echo] To absent friends.

Frank:      And to Rocky.["tt-t-r-rt-tt-tt-tt-t, Rocky two,
            tt-t-r-rt-tt-tt-tt-t, Rocky three
            tt-t-r-rt-tt-tt-tt-t, Rocky four, the eye of the tiger!"]
            (Frank starts a verse of stacatto 'Happy Birthday Rocky' and
            cuts it off after 'Dear Rocky' [- the audience sings along])
            Shall we?

Dr. Scott:  We came here to discuss Eddy.

Columbia:   Eddy.  (Frank threatens her with the slicer.)

Frank:      That's a rather tender subject.  Another slice anyone?

Columbia:   Excuse me (Scream on exit) ["What's the matter? You ate him before,
            you can eat him again!" "Yeah, but she didn't swallow last!"]

Dr. Scott:  I knew he was in with a bad crowd, but it was worse than I
            imagined...Aliens!

Rocky:      Ugh?

Brad:       Doctor Scott!

Frank:      Go on, Dr. Scott.  Or should I say Dr. Von Scott.

Brad:       Just what exactly are you implying?

Dr. Scott:  It's all right!

Brad:       Doctor Scott!

Scott:      It's all right, Brad.


                                     EDDY

            From the day he was born ["Not the night, but the day"]
            He was trouble.  ["Not monopoly, but trouble"]
            He was the thorn  ["Not the rose, but the thorn"]
            In his mother's side. ["Not the back, but the side"]
            She tried in vain [Not the artery, but the vein"]...

Narrator:   but he never caused her nothing but shame [Shame, shame, shame"].

Scott:      He left home the day she died.
            ["It's a rocking scott!"]
            From the day she was gone ["Bop shebop bop"]
            All he wanted ["Bop shebop bop"]
            Was Rock 'n' Roll porn  ["Bop shebop bop"]
            And a motorbike. ["Bop shebop bop"]
            Shooting up junk...

Narrator:   He was a low down cheap little punk ["Yeah, punk"]!

Scott:      Taking everyone for a ride.


All:        When Eddy said he didn't like his Teddy
            You knew he was a no-good kid. [Clap hands twice]
            But when he threatened your life with a switch-blade knife

Frank:      What a guy!

Janet:      Makes you cry.

Scott:      Und I did.

Columbia:   Everybody shoved him.
            I very nearly loved him.
            I said, hey, listen to me;
            Stay sane inside insanity!
            But he locked the door and threw away the key.

Scott:      But he must have been drawn  ["Bop shebop bop"]
            Into something, ["Bop shebop bop"]
            Making him warn ["Bop shebop bop"]
            Me in a note that reads

All:        [echo] What's it say?  What's it say?

Eddy's voice: I'm out of my hed.
            Oh, hurry, or I may be dead.
            They mustn't carry out their evil deeds.   (scream)

All:        When Eddy said he didn't like his Teddy
            You knew he was a no-good kid.
            But when he threatened your life with a switch-blade knife

Frank:      What a guy!

Janet:      Makes you cry.

Scott:      Und I did.

All:        When Eddy said he didn't like his Teddy
            You knew he was a no-good kid.
            But when he threatened your life with a switch-blade knife

Frank:      What a guy! [What the hell is a ga-ha-haar?"]

Janet:      Makes you cry.

Scott:      Und I did.

            ["I fucking hate celery!"]
            (All scream)

Frank:      Rocky!  How could you? (slaps Janet)

            (general mayhem as Frank chases Janet.  Riff and Magenta laugh,
            until Riff suddenly says "Shut up!" [which the audience echoes])


                            WISE UP

            I'll tell you once;  I won't tell you twice.
            You'd better wise up, Janet Weiss.
            Your apple pie don't taste so nice.
            You'd better wise up, Janet Weiss.

            I've laid the seed; it should be all you need.
            You're as sensual as a pencil, wound up like an E or first string.
            When we made it, didja hear a bell ring? [ring BELL]

            Ya gotta block?  Well, take my advice.
            You better wise up, Janet Weiss.
            The transducer will seduce ya.

Janet:      My feet!  I can't move my feet!

Scott:      My wheels!  My God, I can't move my wheels!

Brad:       ["My socks! They stink"] It's as if we're glued to the spot!

Frank:      You are!  So quake with fear, you tiny fools!

Janet:      We're trapped!

Frank:      (sung)  It's something you'll get used to.  A mental mind fuck
            can be nice.

Scott:      You won't find Earth people quite the easy mark you imagine.
            This sonic transducer...it is, I suppose, some kind of audio-
            vibrato-physio-molecular transport device?

Brad:       [echo] You mean... ["A vibrator!"]

Scott:      Yes, Brad, it's something we ourselves have been working on for
            quite some time.  But it seems our friend here has found a means
            of perfecting it. A device capable of breaking down solid matter
            and then projecting it through space and, who knows, perhaps even
            time itself.

Janet:      You mean he's going to send us to another planet?

Frank:      [echo] Planet, shmanet, Janet!
            You better wise up, Janet Weiss.
            You better wise up, build your thighs up,
            You better wise up

Narrator:   [echo] And then she cried out...

Janet:      Stop!

Frank:      (Don't get hot and flustered)["l ota pulttii"]!
            (Use a bit of mustard)["kyt vhn malttii"].


Brad:       You're a hot dog, but you better not try to hurt her,["Who's your
            boyfriend?"] Frank Furter.

            (Freeze - Brad) ["Aces!"]

Scott:      You're a hot dog, but you better not try to hurt her,["Who's your
            teacher?" Frank Furter.

            (Freeze - Scott)

Janet:      You're a hot dog --

            (Freeze - Janet) ["Who's Tim Curry?"]

Columbia:   My God! ["In heaven"]  I can't stand any more of this! ["Well, sit
            down  First you spurn me for Eddy, and then you throw him off
            like an old overcoat for Rocky!
            You chew ["Phyi"] people up and then you spit them out again...I
            loved you ["What did you say?"]..did you hear me!  I loved you!
            And what did it get me? ["AIDS"]  Yeah, I'll tell you: a big
            nothing. You're like a sponge. You take, take, take, and drain
            others of their love and emotion.  Yeah, well, I've
            had enough You're gonna choose between me and Rocky, so named
            because of the rocks in his head. (freeze)

Frank:      It's not easy having a good time ["Try tykkimki"]... (freeze
            Rocky) ...even smiling makes my face ache ["comes from biting
            your knuckles!"]...and my children turn on me...Rocky's behaving
            just the way Eddy did.  Do you think I made a mistake, splitting
            his brain between the two of them?

Magenta:    Ahhhh!  I grow weary of this world!  When shall we return to
            Transylvania, huh?

Frank:      Magenta, I am indeed grateful to both you and your brother Riff
            Raff.  You have both served me well.  Loyalty such as yours shall
            not go unrewarded.  You will discover that when the mood takes me,
            I can be quite generous.

            ["What do you ask for a blow-job?"]
Magenta:    I ask for nothing...nothing.

Frank:      And you shall receive it...in abundance!
            Come, we are ready for the floor show!

Narrator:   And so, by some extraordinary co-incidence, fate, it seemed, had
            decided that Brad and Janet should keep that appointment with
            their friend, Dr. Everett Scott.  But it was to be in a situation
            which none of them would have possibly forseen.  And, just a few
            hours after announcing their engagement, Brad and Janet had both
            tasted ["Frank's cock"] ...forbidden fruit.["Yeah, Frank's cock"]
            This in itself was proof that their host was a man of of little
            morals ["Yeah. little morals"] ...and some persuasion. ["Yay,
            some persuasion"] What further indignities were they to be
            subjected to?  And what of the floor show that is spoken of?
            ["Where do you masturbate"]  In an empty house?  ["When do you
            masturbate!"]  In the middle of the night? ["The rates are
            cheaper"] What diabolical plan had been shaped by
            Frank's crazed imagination?  ["What ever happened to your
            fucking neck?"] What indeed? From what had gone before, it was
            clear that this was to be ["A picnic?"] no picnic. ["Oh shit
            and I brought the ants"]



                              ROSE TINT MY WORLD


            A. FLOOR SHOW


            (Frank is running around making preparations while the others are
            frozen on the stage.  Unfreeze - Columbia)

Columbia:   It was great when it all began.
            I was a regular Frankie fan.
            But it was over when he had the plan
            To start a-working on a muscle man.
            Now the only thing that gives me hope ["Is smoking dope"]
            Is my love of a certain dope ["Yeah, dope"].
            Rose tints my world, keeps me safe from my trouble and pain.

            (Unfreeze - Rocky)

Rocky:      I'm just seven hours old ["And can't dance"],
            And truly beautiful to behold ["And can't sing"].
            And somebody should be told
            My libido hasn't been controlled.
            Now the only thing I've come to trust ["Is Janet's bust"]
            Is an orgasmic rush of lust ["Yeah, lust"].
            Rose tints my world and keeps me safe from my trouble and pain.

            (Unfreeze - Brad)

            ["What is 1+1?"]
Brad:       It's beyond me; help me Mommy!
            I'll be good; you'll see .
            Take this dream away.
            What's this? ["It' your leg, asshole"] Let's see,
            I feel sexy!
            What's come over me ["Frank's cock"]?
            Wo!  Here it comes again.

            (unfreeze - Janet)

Janet:      I feel released; bad times decrease.
            My confidence has increased; reality is here.
            The game has been disbanded; my mind has been expanded.
            It's a gas that Frankie's landed!
            His lust is so sincere.


            B. FANFARE/DON'T DREAM IT


Frank:      Whatever happened to Fay Wray ["She went apeshit"]?
            That delicate, satin-draped frame?
            As it clung to her thigh ["What? The apeshit?"]
            How I started to cry ["I'd cry too, if I had an apeshit on my
            thigh"]
            'cause I wanted to be dressed just the same ["So did I honey"].

            Give yourself over to absolute pleasure.
            Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh.
            Erotic nightmares, beyond any measure
            And sensual daydreams to treasure forever.
            Can't you just see it?  Oh, oh, oh.


            Don't dream it, be it. (four times)

All:        Don't dream it, be it. (twelve times)

            (Unfreeze - Scott.  In on sixth time)

Scott:      Ach["tung"]!  We've got to get ["the fuck"] out of this trap
            before this decadence saps our wills.  ["It's too late!"] I've
            got to be strong, and try to hang on, or else my mind may well
            snap ["Cracle and pop"] and my life will be lived...for the
            thrills!

Brad:       It's beyond me;  help me Mommy!

Janet:      God bless Lilly St. Cyr.



            C. WILD AND UNTAMED THING

            ["Hey, Frank, who's pool is it?"]
Frank:      My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my...my!
            I'm a wild and an untamed thing.
            I'm a bee with a deadly sting.
            You get a hit and your mind goes ping.
            Your heart'll thump and your blood will sing.
            So let the party and the sounds rock on.
            We're gonna shake it 'till the life has gone.
            Rose tint my world, keep me safe from my trouble and pain.

All:        We're a wild and an untamed thing.
            We're bees with a deadly sting.
            You get a hit and your mind goes ping.
            Your heart'll thump and your blood will sing.
            So let the party and the sounds rock on.
            We're gonna shake it 'till the life has gone.
            Rose tint my world, keep me safe from my trouble and pain.

Riff Raff:  Frank N Furter, it's all over.
            Your mission is a failure;
            Your lifestyle's too extreme.
            I'm your new commander;
            You now are my prisoner ["Number six", "who is number one?"].
            We return to (Transylvania)[Skitsophrenia"].
            Prepare the transit beam.

            [Get up and murmel things like "Let's leeve this movie! It sucks"]
Frank:      Wait!  ["Can you explain?"] I can explain! ["This better be good.
            You got shot the last time" Return to your seat]


            I'M GOING HOME

            ["Ladies and Gentlemen, for one night and one night only,
            Alfalfa's shaddow"]
Frank:      On the day I went away...

All:        Goodbye...

Frank:      Was all I had to say...


All:        Now I...

Frank:      I want to come again ["So does Brad"], and stay.

All:        Oh, my, my...

Frank:      Smile, and that will mean I may.
            'cause I've seen, oh, blue skies
            Through the tears in my eyes
            And I realize, (I'm going home)["My make-up is gone"].

All:        I'm going home.

Frank:      Everywhere it's been the same...

All:        ...feeling...

Frank:      ...like I'm outside in the rain...

All:        ...wheeling...

Frank:      ...free to try and find a game...

All:        ...dealing...

Frank:      ...cards for sorrow, cards for pain. [throw CARDS]
            'cause I've seen, oh, (blue skies)["Brad naked"]
            Through the tears in my eyes
            And I realize, (I'm going home)["My make-up is gone"].

Frank & All: I'm going home. (3 times)

            (applause)[Stand up]

Magenta:    How sentimental. ["You bitch!"]

Riff Raff:  And also presumptuous of you.  You see, when I said WE were to
            return to Transylvania, I referred only to Magenta and myself. I'm
            sorry, however, if you found my words misleading, but you see, you
            are to remain here ["how"], in spirit, anyway.

Scott:      Great heavens!  That's a laser!

Riff Raff:  Yes, Dr. Scott.  A laser capable of emitting a beam of pure
            anti-matter.

Brad:       You mean...you're going to kill him?  What's his crime?

Scott:      You saw what became of Eddy.  Society must be protected ["Fuck
            society"].

Riff Raff:  Exactly, Dr. Scott.  And now, Frank N Furter, your time has come.
            Say goodbye to all of this, ["Goodbye, all of this"] and hello to
            oblivion.  ["Hello, oblivion, how's the wife and kids?"]

            ["First one to scream gets it right between the tits!"]
            (Columbia screams - gets zapped)["Nice shot"]
            (Frank screams - gets zapped)


            (Rocky moans over Frank's body - gets zap, zap, zap, zapped -
            fall to his death)

Janet:      Oh!  You killed them!

Magenta:    But I thought you liked them.  They liked you.

            ["Get paranoid, Riff!"]
Riff Raff:  They didn't like me!["Even sometimes"]  He never liked ME!

Scott:      You did right. ["Slowly I turn, step by step, inch by inch"]

Riff Raff:  A decision had to be made.

Scott:      You're O.K. by me ["Nanu-nanu"].

Riff Raff:  Dr. Scott, I'm sorry about your (nephew)["Dinner"].

Scott:      Eddy? ["No, Penelope!"]
            Yes, well, perhaps it was all for the best, heh, heh, heh.


Riff:       You should leave now, Dr. Scott, while it is still possible.
            We are about to beam the entire house to the planet Transexual, in
            the galaxy of Transylvania.["What should they do?"]  Go...
            ["When?"] Now ["Does this mean we can't use the phone?"].

            Our mission is completed, my most beautiful sister, and soon we
            shall return to the moon-drenched shores of our beloved planet.

Magenta:    Ah, sweet transexual ["You called"], The land of night ["And
            high electric bills"] To take that jump to the left....but it's
            the pelvic thrust... And we'll do...the Time Warp...again!
            ["Five, four, three, two, one, ignition!"]

                                 SUPER HEROES

Brad:       I've done a lot; God knows I've tried
            To find the truth.  I've even lied.
            But all I know is down inside

All:        I'm bleeding...

Janet:      And super heroes come to the feast
            To taste the flesh not yet deceased.
            And all I know is still the beast

All:        Is feeding...
            Ahh, ahh... (etc.)

            ["Hey Brad, can you do the Backstroke?  What about the Australian
             crawl?"] ["Stop the world, I want to get off!"]

            ["Get your finger out of Columbia!"]
Narrator:   And crawling ["where?"] on the (planet's)["Janet's"] face
            ["What are New Kids On The Block?"]Some insects called the human
            race... Lost in time ["What's your favorite TV show?"] And lost
            in space ["What does this movie lack?"] and meaning.

All:        Meaning. ["You forgot to turn your globe off!"]


            (in the film, the reprise of Science Fiction/Double Feature is
            replaced by a reprise of Time Warp, during the closing credits.)


                   SCIENCE FICTION/DOUBLE FEATURE - REPRISE


Usherette:  Science Fiction
            Double Feature.
            Frank has built and
            Lost his creature.
            Darkness has conquered
            Brad and Janet.
            The servants gone to
            A distant planet.
            Wo, oh, oh, oh.
            At the late night, double feature,
            Picture show.
            I want to go, oh, oh, oh.
            To the late night, double feature,
            Picture show.)




                         The Rocky Horror Picture Show Cast:

                         Frank N Furter         Tim Curry
                         Janet Weiss            Susan Sarandon
                         Brad Majors            Barry Bostwick
                         Riff Raff              Richard O'Brien
                         Magenta                Patricia Quinn
                         Columbia               Little Nell
                         Dr. Everett Scott      Jonathan Adams
                         Rocky                  Peter Hinwood
                         Eddie                  Meatloaf
                         Narrator               Charles Gray


                         Original Music And Lyrics by Richard O'Brian